an alternate life
by lizziekiss
Summary: this is a story about what would happen between kagome and inuyasha if the feudal era had been very, very different, rated m for the posibilty of future lemons. CURRENTLY ON HIATUS
1. The loss

A/N: I do not own the characters and all that good stuff but with that said... I have taken the basis of the story and twisted it to my fantasies, i will be posting more chapters as soon as i can, please review because this is my first fan-fic, please show some love.

This story takes place a short while after kikyo is brought back to life……………………

Inuyasha hadent been able to save her, it was simply him or her, and he just couldn't leave kagome in that state. Sure kikyo most likely would have killed him, then killed herself or just simply let kagome take back the small portion of her soul that kikyo still had. Inuyasha just couldn't bear the thought of leaving kagome alone. When kikyo had fallen over the cliff, inuyasha had just taken all he could "why kikyo? Why?" he screamed. Inuyasha fell to the ground exhausted '_kikyo' _he thought to himself '_why did I loose you again? But why am I more upset about the pain endured by kagome, then the descration of kikyo's gravesite?_'

Meanwhile kagome's soul had returned to her body "inuyasha!" she called out but it was not her voice it was kikyo's

Shippo jumped up "kagome! You're alright! Oh thank goodness"

Kagome sat up "I am kikyo" she said out loud, she repeated it a few more times because it made it seem truer the more she said it. "I feel her there, inside of me, I feel her turmoil, its weird though" she said looking at shippo now "I think we are the same, I know that I am her re-incarnate, but she was a priestess, she had to do many things which were against her true nature. She was someone entirely different on the inside. I think I am mearly her inner being, the woman she seemed to be becoming with inuyasha. I can almost hear her thoughts. I know her memories."

She tried to stand up but she was just simply too weak. After a few failed attempts she cried out "inuyasha, where are you?"

"kagome, he followed kikyo into the forest" shippo said hanging his head.

"find him now. Bring him to me, I don't care if you have to kill him and drag his dead body to me, bring him now."

"but kagome, you will not be safe here alone." shippo said tears welling up in his eyes.

"please go shippo, I will be safe kaede is here to protect me"

"okay kagome, but if you come into any danger shout as loud as you can and I will come running" and with that he ran into the forest.

As kagome sat there her mind began to wonder, she had all these strange memories in her head but they were fading as she was regaining her strength. Kagome was tired so she laid her head down and began to nap.

Next chapter... Kagome's dream.


	2. Kagome's dream

A/N: I know that in the last chapter, there was some confusion, but Kagome is NOT Kikyo now and she will never become Kikyo. Kagome merely became acquainted with the part of Kikyo that was in her soul. Kagome only said that she was Kikyo to come to terms with being Kikyo's re-incarnate. I hope that this cleared it all up for everyone. However, I need some reviews because I am not sure what direction I want to take the whole Kagome/Inuyasha relationship. Read on!

Chapter 2: Kagome's dream.

Kagome was walking in a field of the most beautiful flowers, but when she turned around and saw a tree too big to be real, she realized that she was only dreaming. _'This is all too real for a dream though' _thought Kagome. Kagome began to wonder if she was seeing or re-living something from Kikyo's past. When Kagome turned back to face the flowers, Kikyo was there. Kikyo waved to Kagome and then said, "Come see for yourself how Inuyasha betrayed me."

Kagome followed her to the place where Inuyasha attacked Kikyo more than 50 years ago, when he stole the Shikon jewel. Kagome watched as the events from that day so long ago replayed before her eyes. Kagome looked at the person who attacked Kikyo and even though he resembled Inuyasha, there was something strange about the attacker, 'he just looks strange, this is not the Inuyasha that I know. Has he really changed that much?' .then Kagome realized "Inuyasha has silver hair, and the person who attacked you had white hair, so he couldn't have attacked you. It just simply wasn't him, it wasn't Inuyasha."

Kikyo turned around and faced Kagome "so Inuyasha never really betrayed me after all?"

Kagome just shook her head.

"I'm so glad that I didn't kill him" Kikyo said her eyes welling with tears, "he was innocent and I tried to kill him." Kikyo walked over to the large tree and sat in the shade underneath. Kagome went over and sat with her.

"Kikyo do you think its weird that you and I share the same soul?"

Kikyo looked up at her with a startled expression " not really because the soul is a reincarnate, meaning I passed on before you were even born, the only way a reincarnation goes wrong is when your soul is reincarnated before it has passed on and made peace. I'm sorry but I just can't stop thinking of the prophesy" Kikyo said turning to face Kagome, "in the shrine in my village, there is a tile on the floor that has the names of the people who built it. Lift it and you will find a scroll of the prophesy. The prophesy tells of a Hanyou and a Miko who would restore peace to the feudal era and stop the evil demons who wish to destroy the earth." Kikyo looked down at her lap a look of shame spreading across her face ."I only gave into Inuyasha because I thought it was me in the prophesy, but I know now that it is you. You are the miko and Inuyasha is the Hanyou. I never before understood why if it were me it portrayed a miko not a priestess, but you must be the fabled one."

"What does that mean?" Kagome asked.

"It means that you can restore peace to this land and stop all the evil taking over and corrupting this peaceful world, and in turn release Inuyasha from his commitments to me. I don't even think I ever really loved him." Kikyo said turning away from Kagome. Kagome laid her hand on Kikyo's shoulder

"It's alright Kikyo"

"But I thought I had to be with him, I understand now that I was not the one, at least not in my lifetime."

"What commitments do you mean Kikyo?"

"Inuyasha promised that he would always be there for me, that he would follow me into hell if I so desired. When you are strong enough to, release me and in doing so release Inuyasha."

After a long pause, Kagome asked, "what do I have to do?"

"Go to my sister Kaede and obtain my arrows, then pierce the heart of the empty shell of my body that still walks the earth. Destroy my body, and then set it on fire. When you burn my body a small object will form, it will look similar to a jewel shard. When you have taken it from my ashes, place it under the skin of your left hand and you will gain all my archery skills. Once you have taken in a part of me I will no longer be whole, meaning no one can resurrect me from my ashes. Then my remains would be safe in the gravesite my sister had made. When my ashes are returned to my grave for my sister to care for, I will release Inuyasha."

Kagome nodded then asked, "Did Inuyasha love you?"

"Like he loved his mother," Kikyo said taking a deep breath "he told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend an eternity with me. Inuyasha said all those things but he never had any desire to mate or marry me or anything like that. He loved me but it was the love of comrades or friends not the kind of feelings that he would hold for a lover."

"Mate you? What does that mean?" Kagome said leaning forward to see Kikyo's face.

"Inuyasha said once that when he found the right woman instead of getting married, he would mate her. He said that it was like the way his animal brethren would. He said that he would mark his woman and she would be his, forever. You can never remove the mark of a demon the only release is death. Apparently, it is similar to being married but there is no exit for either party, you know no divorce. There was some love there but not the kind I wished for." Kikyo stood and began to walk into the depths of the forest "love him Kagome, and know when he dreams, he may say my name but he sees your face."

"Why?" Kagome said jumping up.

Kikyo turned around at the edge of the clearing "Kagome, he was allowed to love me. If someone came after me, it was my responsibility to protect myself. If Inuyasha admits to the world that he loves you, you will become a target. Inuyasha has made it his duty to protect you. When you have taken in a part of me and you gain my skills, go to my sister and have her train you."

"What will training do?"

"you will learn to protect yourself, then not only will you be a worthwhile mate, you will be more valuable in the search for the shards of the shikon jewel then anyone ever thought you could be." then Kikyo disappeared into the woods.

"But Kikyo I have so many questions left to be answered!" Kagome shouted as she fell to her knees.

Next chapter: the rebirth of Inuyasha.


	3. Inuyasha's rebirth

A/N: I am trying to update this as fast as I can because I am having fun writing it, and because it keeps my mind away from the writers block, I'm enduring with a wolverine/x-men story I am writing. However, I am still not sure what path the Kagome/Inuyasha relationship will take, I would like everyone's input with this so please review! Hopefully the next chapter will be more pivotal in this story line but until then happy reading.

Inuyasha's rebirth:

Inuyasha was still lying on the ground. He was running every moment of the day through his head. He remembered the look in kikyo's eyes when he dropped her over the cliff "she looked relieved, almost happy" Inuyasha said to himself "why Kikyo? Why?" Inuyasha laid calling out Kikyo's name, but he saw Kagome's face before his eyes. As Inuyasha grew weaker he said out loud "I'm sorry Kagome, I may have failed you." then Inuyasha slipped into unconsciousness.

Kagome awoke with a jump "Inuyasha!" she screamed.

"I'm sorry Kagome but, I haven't been able to find Inuyasha" shippo said running over.

"Go help Kaede home, I will find Inuyasha"

"But you are hurt"

"Please do as I say, Kaede may not be safe"

"I'm only a kid, how will I protect her?" Shippo said shrugging his shoulders.

"Listen carefully," Kagome, said putting Shippo in her lap "Kaede is hurt and she cannot concentrate on everything at once. You need to be her eyes and ears so she can focus on getting home safe. She needs no real protection because she is strong and has won many battles, but even the best need help sometimes Shippo"

"Ok Kagome, but I will tell miroku where you are so he may protect you."

"Go quickly; tell him that I will start to look for Inuyasha."

With that Kagome struggled to her feet and walked in the direction that Inuyasha has chased Kikyo in earlier that day

"I must stop him from doing anything stupid" she said as she stumbled through the forest "just once I wish that I had keen senses like Inuyasha, then it would be a lot easier to find someone."

Kagome froze _'did I just hear footsteps behind me?' _she stayed perfectly still, but as she strained to hear any more sounds, Kagome felt a hand caress her butt "I'm going to kill you Miroku!" Kagome screamed as she twirled around and slapped him.

"I'm sorry Kagome you just looked like you needed a good massage"

"Of my butt?"

"Well…yes!" Miroku said dodging another slap "but I brought your backpack so at least we would have something to eat."

Kagome took her bag from Miroku "go back to Shippo and Kaede, leave me to Inuyasha."

"Let me help you find him"

"Ok, but lets hurry"

Kagome and Miroku headed through the forest "Inuyasha… Inuyasha… where are you?"

"Kagome, I think I heard something over this way," Miroku said heading over to the cliffs edge.

"Ka…go…me"

"I hear Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted running towards Inuyasha.

"There you are" Kagome said once she saw Inuyasha. She knelt down next to him and began to check him for injuries.

"Miroku, please go and fetch some water, and some firewood"

As Miroku walked away, Kagome opened her bag, and then took out some medicine and bandages.

"I hate to see you hurt Inuyasha," Kagome said brushing the hair away from his face. She then began to clean and bandage all of Inuyasha's cuts.

A few minutes later Miroku returned and began to build a fire. When he was done Kagome said, "Please go now"

"Why would I leave you and Inuyasha unprotected?"

"I'm not sure if Inuyasha will live after sustaining these injuries, and if he doesn't I would rather deal with his death in private. If he can make it through the night, then his chances of surviving are good, but, if he takes a turn for the worst then he will be dead by this time tomorrow"

"Kagome…" Miroku said as he watched her eyes fill with tears "is that what you really want?" she nodded as one lone tear ran down her cheek. _'I just can't stand to see her cry like this. She must really believe she is going to loose him' _"then I will go now, but I will return at this time tomorrow." after he said that he turned around and left.

Kagome returned her attention to Inuyasha. She removed his shirt and began to stitch up all the holes. When she was finished she stared down at Inuyasha face, then his eyes began to flutter as he regained consciousness.

"Ka…go…me" he stuttered

"Yes Inuyasha?"

"You finally came"

Kagome knelt down closer to him, "what Inuyasha?"

"I missed you," he said reaching out and touching kagome's hand. "I called for you and you weren't there"

"Inuyasha its okay, I'm here now and I'm not going to leave"

"Ok" Inuyasha said as he began to cough, "Kagome my chest hurts very badly"

Kagome rolled him over onto his back. On Inuyasha's chest, there was an eight-inch gash _'oh my god I can see clear down to the bone, I'm surprised that I can't see Inuyasha's heart beating'_

"Is it that bad?" Inuyasha said looking down at his own chest, "oh it looks bad. Do you think I will survive Kagome?"

"I'm not sure," she said looking deep into his amber eyes "I hope so, there is so much left to do"

"I don't think I can hold out much longer Kagome," Inuyasha said as a look of fear began to spread across his face.

"Please hold on Inuyasha, I know it hurts, but at least be strong until we can watch our last sunrise together"

Inuyasha just nodded as Kagome began to search in her bag for something to relieve his pain. Then she remembered the medical kit her grandfather had given her, inside of it was a syringe, a vial of morphine, a vial of antibiotics, a needle and some surgical thread. _'This stuff will help but I wish I knew how to use it' _Kagome thought as she kept digging through the kit _'aha! An instruction manual! Well at least now I won't give Inuyasha an overdose' _

"Inuyasha I have some medicine that will help you sleep and take away the pain ok?"

"Ok, but what is all the other stuff for?"

"I'm going to try to stitch up your wound so it will heal faster and not get infected."

"I trust you Kagome."

An hour or so later Kagome had just finished cleaning, stitching, and dressing Inuyasha's wound.

'_There I hope that this will help him. I'm sure glad I took those first aid classes last summer'_ Kagome thought looking down at Inuyasha. She absentmindedly stroked his forehead as she thought about what she could do to help Inuyasha.

'_Well staying up all night isn't going to help'_ Kagome thought as she lay down next to Inuyasha. "Good night my puppy" Kagome said falling asleep.

"_Here I am in this same field of flowers as before" Kagome said looking around "I wonder if Kikyo will meet me here again"_

"_Kagome, I am by the grand tree," Kikyo said._

"_Why did you bring me here again?" Kagome asked sitting next to Kikyo._

"_Inuyasha is going to die."_

"_What?" Kagome asked beginning to cry._

"_Inuyasha will die if you don't cure him, I didn't know it but I poisoned him when I attacked him."_

"_How did you poison him?"_

"_With my hatred for him, I hated him so much in that moment that all I wanted was his death. I wanted it so badly that my hate poisoned him and it would have killed him."_

"_Would have?" Kagome said perking up "dose that mean you know how to cure him?"_

"_I forgive Inuyasha, I do not hate him any longer, but to fully cure him you will need to brew him tea from the 'dragons-fang-fire-lily' but it only grows in one part of the world."_

"_Well then how do I get it?"_

"_As luck would have it, the place it grows is on the side of the cliff that Inuyasha threw me over"_

"_Really Kikyo?"_

"_Yes Kagome, the cure is a mere feet away from your campsite, lucky you."_

"_Thank you Kikyo"_

"_The only things I ask in return, is just that you love him with your whole heart and just do whatever is best for him."_

Kagome awoke to the smell of cured ham cooking

"Kagome you are awake!" Inuyasha said running over to her "hey funny story, I woke up this morning and I felt really bad but I saw your book open to the page about the dragon-fang-fire-lily. It says that it's supposed to cure all ailments, but I saw some by the cliffs edge so I made some tea, then drank it and now I feel great. My wound even healed." Inuyasha opened his shirt to reveal a perfect unblemished chest.

"How?" Kagome asked perplexed

"I'm not sure but I think I may have been reborn"

Next chapter: a tragic happiness


	4. a tragic happiness part 1

-1A/N- Im really sorry that I had to break this into two parts its just that I really wanted to get it posted and I figured that posting half at a time would be ok, sorry for the cliffy though. I really wish I were receiving more reviews because I am still not sure how all of this is going to pan out but there is good news!!!! I have downloaded the first 50 parts of the Inuyasha manga, and am reading it now; even though I have read some, I thought it would make a much better story if I stayed truer to the manga. So you all should look forward to very great chapters ahead!!

Chapter 4: a tragic happiness part 1

"Come here and see this Kagome," Inuyasha said pulling Kagome to her feet.

Inuyasha led Kagome to the cliffs edge.

"What do you want me to see?"

"Just wait for it," Inuyasha said moving close to Kagome, "you wanted to see the sunrise didn't you?"

"Well yes" Kagome said looking puzzled, as she spoke the sun began to rise, "this is the most beautiful sunrise ever"

"Why did you want me to live to see this?" Inuyasha asked looking down at Kagome.

"Well" Kagome said looking down, "it's just that" Inuyasha lifted her chin so that her big brown eyes met his "I thought that if you could see the sunrise, you would be inspired to live. I have always loved to watch the sunrise with you, if you had died I wanted my last memory of you to be us watching the sunrise."

"Kagome"

"Yes Inuyasha?"

"Never mind lets just enjoy this," Inuyasha said turning back to the sun coming up over the mountains _'I almost just told Kagome everything. How scared I was that I might lose her. how when I thought I would die this was the first time I did not welcome death, and how I wish she had been the first girl I fell in love with instead of Kikyo'_

"Did you hear me?" Kagome asked, "You were kind of spacing out, are you ok?"

"No, I was thinking, what were you saying?"

"That we need to get back to Kaede's village so we can get some things," Kagome said _'most importantly kikyo's bow and arrows and to see the scroll she told me about, I just don't think I will tell Inuyasha yet'_

"Well then lets go" Inuyasha said walking away

A little while later, they were at Kaede's village.

"I'm so tired," Inuyasha, said yawning.

"Go sleep then, I will give Kaede some of these healing herbs" Kagome said heading off towards the shrine.

"Kagome" an old woman with an eye patch called out to Kagome "come this way child and see what I have constructed"

"What is it?" Kagome said putting down the pan that she had been carrying.

"It is a new gravesite for Kikyo, that way when we can successfully return her body here it will be safe"

"I had a dream Kaede, Kikyo came to me in it"

"Well child that conversation is best to be spoken inside where ye can tell me without prying ears." Kaede said looking down at the pan Kagome had brought with her "is that what I think it is?"

"Yes it sure is"

"But it only grows in one place in the world, how did you find it?"

"It was on the side of the cliff where I found Inuyasha" Kagome left out that the cliff she had just spoken of was where Inuyasha had tried to kill Kikyo.

"Does my sister's body lay in peace?" Kaede said leading Kagome to her hut.

"No, Inuyasha didn't kill her. Kikyo almost killed him"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kagome told Kaede everything she knew, about the prophesy, about her ability to release Kikyo from her suffering as a walking corpse, about the two dreams she had where Kikyo had visited her and about the way that she planned to help Inuyasha regain all of the sacred jewel shards. She talked for what seemed like hours.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The shrine was dark and dank smelling "this is not what I imagined" said Kagome recalling the look of the shrine at home.

"Aye, it has become run down since it is no longer needed to house the 'Shikon no tama' we just let it go"

"Over there" Kagome said pointing to a faint glow that only she could see "that must be where the scroll that Kikyo spoke to me about is" she began to dig, then she pulled the floor tile up and found a secret compartment inside she found the scroll she was looking for and a beaded necklace "another subjugation necklace?" Kagome asked pulling it out

"No my child those are mating beads,"

"Mating beads? What do they do? How do they work?" Kagome asked, as she held the beads they began to change color.

"They are used to find ones soul mate, but I am not versed in how to use them. You will need to ask Inuyasha how."

The two women looked at the scroll, "wow, it looks like me and Inuyasha" Kagome said holding it up into the light "does that mean that Inuyasha and I are meant to be together?"

"Sadly no, at least it makes no promises, but it does say that united the two of you will restore peace to the land"

"Oh ok" Kagome said crushed "then I at least need to release Kikyo from this form"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Inuyasha had finished his nap and had followed Kagome's scent to the shrine as he peered inside he could not believe what he was seeing _'Kaede is training Kagome how to use a bow. I wonder why because Kagome has never needed to protect herself while I am around, I wonder what I have done wrong to case Kagome to seek protection?'_

"Okay I think I got it," Kagome said running out of the shrine and almost bumping into Inuyasha

"Where are you off to Kagome?"

"Just going for a walk" Kagome said walking away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'_I need to find someone that can help me find Kikyo, Kaede made me a map with all the locations she thought Kikyo may go but I need some one to travel with. I wish I knew who would help me, wait Miroku would help me!'_

Kagome headed into Miroku's hut "Miroku I need you to help me"

"How? By fathering your children?"

"No"

"Kagome you didn't hit me for that comment, is something wrong?"

"It's just that" Kagome sat down with her head in her hands "I have to kill Kikyo so that she can finally be at rest"

"Have you told Inuyasha?" Miroku said rubbing his head

"No please don't tell him"

"If this is what you feel you must do. I will help you find her but I will not fight her that is your battle"

Inuyasha was out side the hut trying to hear what Kagome and Miroku were saying. "Kagome you have no business being with that lecher, you are too good for that," Inuyasha said barely audible. He hid behind a bush once he heard them opening the door.

"Okay Kagome tomorrow we will leave at the crack of dawn, and tell no one where you are going. Don't even tell Shippo." Miroku said as Kagome walked away.

Next chapter : a tragic happiness part 2


	5. a tragic happiness part 2

-1A/N- this is the second part of 'a tragic happiness'. we left off where Kagome and Miroku made plans to find Kikyo at sunrise and Inuyasha had secretly been spying on them. Also I need reviews because I might put a lemon in the next chapter but need to know if that's something people really want to read.

A tragic happiness part 2:

Inuyasha followed Kagome to the river; she sat on a rock so deep in thought that she did not hear Inuyasha approach.

"What do you have there?" Inuyasha asked eying the beads in Kagome's hands.

"Kaede said they were mating beads, but she didn't know how to use them. She said that I should ask you."

"Mating beads" Inuyasha said "nothing good ever comes from them"

"How do they work?"

"They don't, it's an old hags tale"

"Tell me Inuyasha" Kagome said turning towards him

"They are supposed to help you pick a mate. When mating season came, everyone in my father's pack who did not already have a mate would take turns putting on these beads. When some one put them on it would create a false pair around the neck of their soul mate. They used them to make sure that they could breed well, because they could not unless they were soul mates."

"Oh so were your parents soul mates?"

"Once I saw my mother put them on because she thought my father had given his heart to some one else. When my father walked through the door I saw them shining around his neck, my mother was so happy. I don't remember a time when she was ever happier."

"I'm tired," Kagome, said yawing

"Here take this and you can lay your head in my lap and sleep," Inuyasha said giving Kagome his hitori.

Kagome lay down with her head on Inuyasha lap and quickly fell asleep. Inuyasha looked down at the beads in her hand, as Kagome fell deeper asleep her grip loosened. Once Kagome had let go of the beads Inuyasha picked them up

"I remember these," he said remembering a time fifty years ago.

'_I remember long ago Kikyo handed me the same set of beads_

"_Inuyasha some one told me that these beads will find my soul mate! All I have to do is put them on, and then a set will show up around your neck"_

_Inuyasha waited patiently as Kikyo put them around her neck but nothing happened._

"_What's wrong with them?"_

"_They never work" Inuyasha has just lied to spare kikyo's feelings. He looked at kikyo's neck the beads were black_

'_I never saw the beads turn black, what did my mother tell me? If I remember correctly if the beads turn black then the person has no soul mate and they are destined to be alone' Inuyasha thought to himself_

"_Don't worry Kikyo," he said taking the beads off her neck "I love you and that's all that matters"_

"_Okay I trust you," Kikyo said smiling her sad smile_

'_Maybe it was then I knew that we wouldn't end up together, I loved her but I knew I couldn't mate anyone but my soul mate'_

A noise in the distance startled Inuyasha "it's only a rabbit," he said aloud watching a brown rabbit hop to the waters edge and take a drink. Inuyasha then turned his attention to the beads in his hand they were red when he held them "red means I'm ready to mate" then he put the beads back into Kagome's hand and watched as they turned a bright shade of blue. "Almost ready" he took the beads out of Kagome's hand, "I wonder…" he said aloud as he placed the beads around his neck. Nothing happened for a moment then Kagome's neck began to glow suddenly a set of beads identical to his formed around her neck "no, no, it can't be"

"What?" Kagome said half asleep

"Keh, nothing" Inuyasha said taking the necklace off.

'_Kagome is my mate? It just can't be'_

"A penny for your thoughts Inuyasha?"

"Lets go home Kagome" and with that he picked her up bridal style and carried her back to his hut.

When they arrived, Kagome said, "Lay down and get some rest while I make us some dinner"

Kagome watched as Inuyasha fell asleep then waited patiently for dawn.

When sunrise arrived, Kagome looked to see that Inuyasha was still sleeping and grabbed her bow then left. She walked to Miroku's hut.

"Are you sure about all of this Kagome"

"Yes I'm sure, because even if I'm not doing this for Inuyasha, Kikyo asked this of me. I have to let her rest in peace."

"Alright let's go, it should take about half a day to reach the first destination on the map."

So they left and headed to a large Lake Kikyo was known to frequent when she was still alive. When Kagome and Miroku arrived Kagome walked into a large clearing then said "Miroku please wait there at the edge"

"Why?" Miroku asked.

"I feel her here; I just have to wait for her to make a move"

Inuyasha had woken up to an empty hut and when he went to find his friends, Kaede told him she had seen Kagome and Miroku leave together that morning. Inuyasha quickly decided to follow them because to him it just didn't seem right that the two of them were alone together. He caught up to them just as they arrived at the lake but before him was a horrible sight"

"Kikyo come out and face me," Kagome said drawing her bow.

A figure appeared from the shadows "quickly please I don't want to feel this pain any longer"

Kagome took an arrow from the quiver and raised the bow up to shoot.

"Please release me from this life, release me from this clay and dirt body that cannot feel anything" Kikyo dropped to her knees "I await your arrow but do it now before I loose my courage"

Kagome nodded as she aimed her arrow straight at kikyo's heart

"NO!" Inuyasha roared running over to Kikyo shielding her with his body, he turned to Kagome "you can't kill her you don't even have a good reason"

"Yes I do!" Kagome yelled, "Kikyo asked me to release her. She wants me to put her at peace!"

Inuyasha looked at Kikyo "is this true?"

"Yes" Kikyo said lowering her head, "I don't want to be stuck in this horrible shell of my former self. I have forgiven you, now I can rest in peace. Kagome showed me that you were not the one who betrayed Me.," she then whispered so only Inuyasha could hear "she is doing this because she loves you. When she releases me, I can finally release you from your loyalties to me. You then won't have to follow me to hell; you can live a proper life with Kagome."

"But Kikyo…" Inuyasha said pleadingly, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"No Inuyasha, this is something I need to do. Just let me rest in peace."

"But we could be together" Inuyasha said beginning to sound desperate

"You deserve to be loved by someone with their whole heart. I cannot love you because I no longer have a heart to give. You should be with your soul mate Inuyasha, I can't be, and I have no soul anymore. Please let me go Inuyasha, remember me for who I once was not what I have become."

Kagome raised her bow once more looking at the scene before her, Inuyasha pleading for Kagome to spare kikyo's life, and Kikyo begging her to end it.

"I just don't know what to do" Kagome said lowering her bow again

Kikyo stood up and moved in front of Inuyasha "now Kagome, just do it now."

Kagome raised her bow for the final time and shot a single arrow into Kikyo's heart. Kikyo fell back into Inuyasha arms,

"Thank you Kagome" Kikyo said her breath slowing "Inuyasha always remember that you made me feel like a real person, always hold me in your heart." then Kikyo took her last breath.

Inuyasha laid Kikyo on the ground and for a moment, the only thing that could be heard was the wind in the trees. Then Miroku came over and said a final prayer for Kikyo.

"We must burn her body," Kagome said after Miroku was done praying.

"Don't you think you've done enough harm Kagome" Inuyasha said holding tighter to Kikyo's body

"We really should Inuyasha, that way we can return Kikyo's ashes to her gravesite," Miroku said preparing some wood for a fire

"Goodbye Kikyo" Inuyasha said kissing Kikyo's forehead "go ahead then"

Once they had burned kikyo's body, Miroku began putting her ashes into an urn when he saw an object that looked like a jewel shard but did not glow like the Shikon jewel

"Kagome come here," Miroku, said holding the object in his hand

"What?"

"What do you think this is?" he said opening his hand

Kagome quickly took it "I'm sorry Kikyo told me to take this"

"For what?" Miroku said suspiciously

"Kikyo said that if I take this and place it under the skin of my hand that I will gain all of her archery skills and that will keep her from being revived again."

"Wait, how?"

"Well she said that her body would no longer be complete rendering it unable to be rebuilt."

"Whatever you say Kagome"

"I'm going to wait until we get back to the village," Kagome said putting the shard into her pocket.

"Kagome," Inuyasha said

"Yes" Kagome said walking over to Inuyasha "what do you want?"

"Never mind lets just go back to the village"

So Miroku and Kagome climbed onto Inuyasha's back and soon they were home. Kagome quickly left to take a walk to the Goshinboku

"The god tree," Kagome said aloud "I remember when I released Inuyasha from the tree, now I have released him from Kikyo. Now that he is free I hope that he will become mine"

Kagome sat down and leaned against the tree "well I guess I have to do this now" she said taking the shard out of her pocket. Kagome took one of her arrows and cut a small slit in the back of her left hand, then she took the shard and pushed it into the cut, Kagome began to get light headed from the pain. She quickly bandaged the wound but began to feel a warmth in her hand.

"thank you Kikyo" she said aloud.

Inuyasha decided to find Kagome, he tried to catch her smell on the wind but instead he smelled her blood. Inuyasha ran to where the smell was coming from and found Kagome slumped against the Goshinboku tree unconscious.

"Kagome wake up, please wake up, I don't want to loose you" Inuyasha said shaking Kagome.

"im sorry Inuyasha" Kagome said waking up "I was just so tired I decided to take a nap"

"but youre bleeding"

"its alright because I have freed Kikyo, you are free too Inuyasha" Kagome said turning away

"Kagome I have a question for you" Inuyasha said

He received no answer , Kagome was deep in thought.

"a pumpkin for your thoughts Kagome?" Inuyasha asked laying his hand on her arm.

"it's a penny Inuyasha, a penny for your thoughts" Kagome said smiling a sad smile.

"you shouldn't smile like that"

"why not?" Kagome said turning to face him.

"you look like Kikyo when you smile like that"

"so"

"you should look like Kagome, don't try to look like Kikyo" Inuyasha said looking deep into her eyes, "will you tell me what you were thinking about?"

"I was wondering if killing Kikyo was the right thing to do, I wondered if you hated me yet"

"I don't hate you Kagome, im just sorry that Kikyo had to die by your hand. I am actually relieved that Kikyo forgave me I feel like she can rest in peace now"

"she said that after I did everything that she would release you so you could get on with your life" Kagome said standing up to walk back to the village.

"let me carry you" Inuyasha said picking her up

When they arrived at the village he took Kagome into his hut and laid her down in the bed "Inuyasha can I put my head in your lap?"

"sure Kagome" Inuyasha said sitting down so she could rest on him.

Once Kagome was asleep Inuyasha looked down at her face _' I wonder if I could tell her about what I saw when I put the mating beads around my neck, I wonder if she would be upset'_

Inuyasha yawned as he thought, soon after he rested his head against the wall and fell asleep.

Next chapter: Inuyasha's dream.

A/N the next chapter could have a lemon but I don't have to put it so I would like some feed back on if you would read it of not. Please review and tell me what you think.


	6. Inuyasha's dream

A/N I know you all probably hate me because I killed off Kikyo last chapter but I just feel like I had to. Kikyo just always showed up when everything was going good and messed it all up. Also the story is easier without her.

FLUFF WARNING!!!!!!! There will be some scenes in this chapter that may be a little mushy so if that's not your thing you could just skip this chapter. I know that this was supposed to be a lemon but it turned out better this way.

Chapter 6: Inuyasha's dream

Inuyasha walked to the clearing where the Goshinboku tree stood. He touched the mark where kikyo's sealing arrow kept him pinned for fifty long years.

'_I remember when Kikyo shot her arrow and sealed me to this tree, I will never forget the pain. I also remember when Kagome awoke me years later she rubbed my ears. No body but my mother ever rubbed my ears. Maybe that is why I keep Kagome so close. She has accepted me in ways only my mother had before. Kagome makes me feel proud to be a hanyou.'_

A voice tore him from his thoughts "Die Inuyasha, Die!"

'_How many times do I have to relive this moment? When will I no longer be haunted by this tragedy?'_

Inuyasha turned around expecting a shot though the heart with kikyo's arrow, but when he turned around, he saw Kikyo lowering her arrow then dropping her bow

"Kikyo"

"Inuyasha we need to talk" Kikyo said walking over to Inuyasha.

"What is it?" Inuyasha said barely able to believe his eyes

"I have forgiven you Inuyasha; you need to move on with your life, I'm finally going to rest peacefully. I am releasing you from any promises you made to me." Kikyo said smiling

"But Kikyo you look so happy, why?"

"I wanted two things in my life, to protect the Shikon jewel, and to see you happy. I kept the jewel safe for as long as I lived, and now I get to see you happy"

"Kikyo I'm not happy, I've lost you, how could I be happy?"

"What about Kagome? Isn't she close to your heart?"

"I, I, I just don't know about Kagome," he said stuttering, "she reminds me so much of you that I'm not sure who I'm seeing when I look at her. I don't even know who I want to see."

"Inuyasha," Kikyo said taking his hand in hers "you never loved me the way you love her"

"I never said I loved her"

"I can see it in your eyes and feel it in your soul."

"What do you mean?" Inuyasha said taking his hand away from Kikyo

"When you came into the clearing she was ready to kill me. In the past you would have torn someone limb from limb, just for threatening me. Instead, you stood protecting me but you begged her to spare me. You didn't care that I died, you just didn't want her to be the one to kill me."

"I didn't want her to be the one to live with the guilt," Inuyasha said dropping to his knees "Kagome is dealing with enough, she feels like she just can't compare with you. Everywhere we go she is compared to you, she cannot escape from your memory."

"Kagome no longer has to, she is more powerful then I ever thought anyone could be."

"What are you talking about?" Inuyasha said looking up at Kikyo.

"I had a jewel shard inside my body. Your traveling companion Miroku found it after he burned my body, but it was so corrupted by my hate that it looked like a rock. Kagome has purified it by placing it under the skin of her hand"

"She purified it?"

"And by doing so she has gained my archery skills. She has done something no one ever thought could happen"

"I don't understand what you are trying to say Kikyo," Inuyasha said shifting so he could sit properly on the ground.

"If she can purify the jewel, even if it is one piece at a time she can rid the world of this hateful thing. Kagome holds the power to destroy it by fully purifying it."

"But then I will never get to become a full yokai,"

"No you would not, but why do you want to? Kagome has accepted you for what, and who you are. I wanted you to become human because I could not live my life with a demon, not after I had sworn to kill all demons who would seek to take the Shikon jewel. You have always hated the resentment shown to you by full Yokai like your brother, so you sought to become fully demon. Kagome has accepted you for the very thing that everyone else in your life, including me, has tried to change about you. Do you think she would love you just the same if you were not the man you are right now?"

"I'm just not sure, I don't know if she really loves me at all. I always thought it was wishful thinking."

"Why else would she do all this? Why would she continue to come here? Why else would she take all the abuse you've given? The only reasonable answer is that she loves you, or she is insane, one or the other"

"She's not crazy!" Inuyasha said defensively.

"Well then she's madly in love. Go to her Inuyasha, and live the life that you have only admitted to wanting in your most wild of dreams. Take leave of me and claim your rightful mate." she disappeared into the surrounding forest as she spoke her last words "goodbye Inuyasha, keep me in your prayers"

"Goodbye Kikyo" Inuyasha said his voice catching on the wind.

Inuyasha walked back to the village and headed to his hut _'our hut'_ he corrected himself_ 'Kagome has lived with me here, in our little hut for so long, but has never asked me for anything more than what I was willing to give. Kikyo was right she must love me; why else would she be so devoted to me. Why else would she take care of me the way she does.'_

Inuyasha walked inside of his modest hut and saw Kagome laying down _'she always looks so peaceful when she's resting'_

"What are you staring at?" Kagome asked sitting up in bed

"Nothing, but I talked to Kikyo, she told me why you put her to rest" Inuyasha said sitting down on the end of the bed

"I did it because she wanted me to; she wanted to be in peace"

"She told me everything Kagome; she told me that you released her so that you and I could be together."

"Why would she say something like that?" Kagome asked all color draining from her face

"Its true isn't it?" he asked

"No, not exactly,"

"Tell me the truth Kagome"

"I did it mostly so you could be free from her, I didn't want to see you go into hell" she blushed as she spoke "I wanted you to stay here. When I spoke to Kikyo she asked me to do it and she said things that I'm just not sure are true."

"Why did you want me here?"

"I just" Kagome lowered her head "I just don't know what I would do without you, I don't know how I would survive"

Inuyasha placed his hand upon hers "you will never have to worry about that again, I will always be here for you," he said as he placed her hand upon his heart

"Really do you mean it?

"Of course I do"

"Good," Kagome said standing up "I'm going to go bathe in the hot spring, will you come with me to make sure that no one spies on me?"

"okay" Inuyasha said following her _'she's so beautiful, just look at her, the way her hips sway, the way her dark hair flows in the wind, the way… wait I'm thinking of Kagome here, why am I having these kinds of thoughts?'_

Inuyasha was about 50 feet away from Kagome when she reached the hot spring and quickly undressed, as she was getting in Inuyasha saw a glimpse of her porcelain white skin, as he looked on his breath caught in his chest, he quickly turned away _'no this is Kagome here, I must not look. She is just so innocent and pure, I shouldn't be having these tainted desires flood my mind' _Inuyasha rubbed his face trying to regain his composure _'desires? Did I just say desires?'_ Inuyasha thought to him self "desire, is that what I'm feeling?" He said out loud trying to make sense of it.

"You really shouldn't talk to yourself people might think you are crazy" Kagome said standing next to him toweling her hair.

"Sorry I was just trying to understand something. Lets go home Kagome." he said beginning to walk away.

"Wait up Inuyasha!" Kagome said jogging to catch up with him.

As Inuyasha stood waiting for her, a ladybug landed on his nose, "Kagome what is this?" he asked looking cross-eyed so he could see it.

"Oh Inuyasha it's just a ladybug" Kagome said stepping uncomfortably close to Inuyasha "here hold out your hand"

He brushed her arm as he raised his hand, Kagome took the bug off his nose and took his hand in hers and placed the bug into it "see it's cute, but you've never seen one before?"

"No"

"Oh maybe they aren't as common in your time" Kagome said lifting his hand and blowing the ladybug away, Kagome giggled as she looked to the field where the ladybug flew to.

They stood that way for a while, Kagome standing so close to Inuyasha their bodies were almost touching, with his hand face up in hers. Inuyasha turned over and laced his fingers through hers. Kagome, shocked by his move, turned her head and looked into Inuyasha's amber eyes. Her gaze was piercing, as if she was looking straight into his very soul. Inuyasha took a deep breath and kissed Kagome lightly on the lips.

Kagome pulled away shocked "who did you see when you kissed me? Did you see me? Or did you see Kikyo?"

"I saw you. I've always seen you, even when you thought I was daydreaming of Kikyo." with that said, he kissed her again, a little firmer this time. After a moment, he pulled away "remember the times when we almost kissed and you always got angry because you thought I had mistaken you for Kikyo?"

"Yes, but where are you going with this? Also why did you kiss me?"

"I was always thinking of you" Inuyasha said ignoring her questions "I just never allowed myself to tell you because…" he trailed off.

"Well?" Kagome said tapping her foot, "you at least owe me an explanation."

"I didn't want to be carried away into hell with Kikyo while you were in love with me. I tried to keep you from loving me." he said quickly.

"Who said I was in love with you?"

"I just assumed that everyone was right."

"So you're saying that we should let everyone's assumptions rule our lives and our thoughts?"

"Kagome, now I don't need anyone's words to see how you feel. You wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't true. You wouldn't try to fight me so harshly if you would admit how you feel."

Inuyasha leaned down and kissed her again, putting his hand behind her head, he put his other hand on the small of her back bringing their bodies closer together. As Inuyasha kissed Kagome, she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck.

Kagome broke the kiss and looked straight into his eyes pressing her forehead to his "promise me that you're done with her Inuyasha" she said tilting her head back to get a full view of his face.

"I promise you I am not in love with Kikyo, I love you Kagome"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry for the cliffy but I needed the chapter to end here. I will update soon. As for everyone who was waiting for a lemon- sorry! I just could not fit it in here it just would not fit in to the rest of the story. I will update soon!! Also the Goshinboku tree is the sacred tree that kikyo pinned inuyasha to. Just a little fyi!


	7. a chat with miroku

A/N: I know the last chapter didn't turn out like I expected but I hope this chapter makes up for it! I'm really sorry it took so long to update but I hope this was worth the wait. anyways please R&R and any of you who are interested to see how this story goes please send me a message/email with your fave sesshumaru paring.

Chapter 7: a chat with Miroku

Kagome had woken up earlier than normal today, her eyes were sore from the bright morning sun seeping into her hut. _'I wonder why I woke up so early.' _Kagome thought to herself as she sat up in bed. _'What a funny sight!' _she thought smiling. At the head of the bed lay Inuyasha and Shippo. Inuyasha who had been sitting so Kagome could lay her head in his lap the night before, was curled into a ball at the head of the bed. Shippo, who she remembered climbing in bed with her sometime in the night, was curled up right next Inuyasha and lying on the sleeve of his hitori.

"What is it?" Inuyasha said in his sleep

'_Is he talking in his sleep? I've never heard Inuyasha do this before. Is it wrong to keep listening?'_ Kagome thought as she carefully got off the bed.

As Inuyasha began mumbling Kagome leaned down to hear him better "I tried to keep you from loving me"

It took all of Kagome's strength to stay standing. As she stood with her eyes wide and her mouth gaping open she heard the words she never thought would be spoken "I promise you I am not in love with Kikyo, I love you Kagome"

Kagome stood in shock, "what did you say Inuyasha?" she screamed waking him and Shippo.

"Nothing wench! And if you ever wake me by screaming again I will gag you before bed for the rest of your life!" Inuyasha shouted settling back into bed "why don't you take a bath and calm your self down while I sleep" he said yawning.

"Fine! I guess I will!" Kagome said as she grabbed her towel and ran to the spring to bathe.

When she arrived at the waters edge Kagome sat down on a large rock and put her head in her hands.

'_Did Inuyasha mean it? Does he really love me? Why would he say it in his dreams but not to me?'_

As Kagome ran every moment of her morning through her head, she heard a noise from the water. When Kagome looked up, she saw a male figure bathing in the spring. She looked harder trying to recognize the man in the water. "Miroku?" she whispered.

'_It's so weird to see him without that huge, oversized monk's robe he always wears. He's so skinny underneath, and he needs a tan.'_ she laughed to herself.

Kagome watched as Miroku bathed. He stood in the thigh high water as he washed his body. Kagome looked him over studying his pale satiny skin _'I don't think I've ever seen a grown man bathing, I mean I've seen them with bathing suits but never like this' _she thought as she watched him.

Miroku had heard Kagome come to the waters edge and waited to see if she would join him after a few moments he thought _'well I guess it was just wishful thinking, but maybe wishes can come true'_ he smirked as her turned and looked straight at Kagome. Miroku waived and headed over.

Kagome had watched him for too long and been caught staring _'I cant blame myself if he didn't have such a smooth, hard, and beautiful body I probably wouldn't have been so tempted to look.' Kagome blushed and hid her face in her towel, 'oh my god I see one naked man and now I am just as perverted as him! Wait he shouldn't be bathing in the spring, he always said that the water was too hot so he bathed in the river instead, he wanted me to see him!'_ Kagome began to grow angry as Miroku neared her.

"Kagome, can I ask you why you like to watch men bathing?"

"I didn't mean to stare" Kagome said as she began to blush a deeper shade of red.

"Oh" Miroku said putting his hands on his hips "you've never seen a man naked before have you?"

Kagome just shook her head.

"Go ahead and look, I have nothing to be ashamed."

Kagome thought about it for a minuet before she held up the towel so Miroku's body was blocked from her view. Kagome looked into Miroku's eyes as he smiled, "are you sure? This doesn't make you uncomfortable?"

Miroku shook his head his smile growing wider "just feast your eyes upon pure perfection"

Kagome slowly lowered her towel as she looked into Miroku's eyes. Kagome looked at his shoulders, to the place where his untied hair just barely touched. Her eyes slowly passed over Miroku's chest, stopping to linger at the tight sinewy muscle of his stomach. Then with a deep breath, Kagome lowered her eyes to Miroku's most manly of parts. _'Oh my god, I saw drawings when I took sex-ed, but he could really hurt a girl with that'_ Kagome felt herself blush as she continued to stare.

"Well since you are taking such an interest to my downstairs let me ask you again, Kagome will you bear my children?" Miroku said.

"Oh my god no! I want nothing to do with your…." she threw her towel at Miroku. "I want nothing to do with that! Cover yourself up!" Kagome said getting up and walking a few yards away.

"Kagome please let me ask you why you are out this early without Inuyasha?" Miroku said walking up to Kagome.

"I just heard something that I shouldn't have and I came here to gather my thoughts."

"Oh I thought you were spying on me, because I know how irresistible I am"

"Whatever you say, pervert" Kagome said lowering her head

'_I didn't get slapped or called a henti? Kagome must be really troubled by whatever happened this morning' _Miroku thought to himself.

"Kagome tell me what happened this morning"

Kagome told Miroku the morning's events and when she was finished waited for his response.

"So that's what made you come watch me bathe?" Miroku said

"You never change!" Kagome shouted as she slapped Miroku

"Sorry Kagome." Miroku said before becoming serious "I think you need to tell him what you heard. He needs to tell you if his love for you is true or if you were just hearing things. He needs to tell you the honest truth. You should ask him tonight"

"Thank you Miroku"

"Kagome" the monk said as he took her hand and laid it upon his bare chest "I hold you dear to my heart" Miroku took a single step forward "if he breaks your heart, I will tare his manhood from his body."

"what?" Kagome asked her eyes wide

"I just don't want him to hurt you!" Miroku said forcibly.

"He wont, Inuyasha would never hurt me." Kagome said looking forlorn.

"Kagome he already has," Miroku stated coldly pulling her into his arms "he has hidden his feelings from you. Inuyasha picks on you and shows you no true forms of friendship"

Kagome just stood with her head resting on Miroku's shoulder, willing herself not to cry _'how many times do I have to keep myself from crying? I just wish Inuyasha would let Kikyo go. He won't even build our friendship because he is tormented by her memory'_ Kagome stepped away from Miroku.

"Thank you again Miroku, but I need to get back to the hut, Shippo gets worried when I am not there when he wakes." Kagome said as she began to walk away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Inuyasha had woken up to Kagome yelling and just when he got back to sleep Shippo had woken him again.

"Keh, don't you ever stop whining?" he said pushing the Kitsune off the bed.

"Please go find Kagome! I cannot find her! If something bad happened to her it would be all your fault!" Shippo yelled jumping back onto the bed.

"Keh, fine but I don't want to hear one word from your mouth for the whole day!" he said as he left.

Inuyasha followed Kagome's scent to the riverbed and found her just as Miroku pulled her into his arms. _'I can't hear what they are saying but that damn monk is going to loose his arms. If he kisses her he is going to loose his lips as well.'_ Inuyasha stopped blushing as he remembered his dream _'do I really believe that Kagome is mine? But I have been so spiteful towards her?"_

Inuyasha watched as Kagome walked away from Miroku and then decided to follow her. He jumped in front of her.

"Oh my gods Inuyasha don't scare me like that!" Kagome said

"Where were you?" Inuyasha said crossing his arms over his chest.

"I went to the spring to think some things out."

"And that's all?" Inuyasha said narrowing his eyes beginning to look visibly upset.

'_I wonder if I should ask him how he feels about me now'_ Kagome thought to herself before remembering, "I forgot all about the festival tonight, I have to go home to my time"

"Who said I was going to let you go home?" Inuyasha said stepping closer to Kagome

"I have to go home because I promised my mother that I would take Souta to the festival"

"Well" Inuyasha said thinking hard as he uncrossed his arms "do you think it would be okay if I went with you?"

"Why would you want to come? Just a second ago you were angry with me."

"Tonight is the new moon so I'm going to be human. I thought it would be safer to be in your time as a human. Anyways I could really get to explore your time with out all the smells overloading me or having people look at me funny."

"Okay Inuyasha you can come" Kagome said walking past him

Inuyasha grabbed her wrist and twirled her around to face him "but do not think that by taking me to this festival that I will forgive you for any indiscretions you hay have had with a certain monk we know"

"What do you think I did with Miroku?"

"Well he was half naked only wearing YOUR towel, and you don't look like you got much bathing done, so what am I supposed to think?"


End file.
